Me: *sees book store* *looks to friend* *shuffles towards bookstore*
tom-sits-like-a-whore: whenever weird shit happens to me i don’t even question it i just walk away because i will not be one of those people in the first 30 seconds of Supernatural no sir no ma’am
untamed-happiness: I don’t want anyone to ever touch me ever again
timegrowsbolder: I just want you to come home.
Gahh!! So this guy likes me but I like his best...
luckycharmsprincess: Does anyone else realize how deeply our choices affect us? I mean, think about it. You make one choice, but where does the other choice go? Does it go into another, parallel universe? What happens to it???
matttimpgod: Do you think the phrase, “aye, aye Cap’n” was a way pirates made fun of their captain because he wore an eyepatch?
myerectiongoesinonedirection: can birds pee?
thecouscousqueenspersonalbutler: If you fuck your clone, is it sex, incest, or masturbation?
pinkypromise-yourlove: To my guy friend who just tried to get it on with me. Thanks for making me feel relatively attractive. That was nice of you. Really. Now never do it again.
seriouslovefor-ukwon: What if when brown/black people breast fed their children, chocolate milk came out.
weremade0fstarlight: what if our nose can share it’s thoughts? “you’re fragrant” “stop poking me”
And this only applies to woman?
puravelutaurum: What if your nipples were constantly moving all over your body like little bugs and the only way to make them stop is by getting pregnant. AND YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHERE THEY STOP. Foot nipples.
puhoyedthoughts: the pancreas is like the craziest organ of our body I mean it self-destructs when we die like it’s shouting to the doctors “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!!!”
tavernwenchmaverick: Do you ever blink and just hear your eyelid click? Like a fucking door. Get some WD40 on that or something.
sam-winchester-is-unamoosed: sherlockedbyphaninthetardis: davedirk: davedirk: lauraforgood: m33wlin: WE WERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN GYM AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS LIKE “I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY” AND ME AT THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST BOTH GO “SAME” AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I WINKED AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND THIS IS WHY I DONT...
ambassador-of-anguish: shouldertappingghosts: If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate...
Yahoo if you fuck Tumblr up, I will hunt you down and make you suffer.
Half of Tumblr: FUCK YOU YAHOO, YOU SUCK, YOU CAN'T HAVE OUR SITE!
The other half of Tumblr: NO, FUCK YOU! DON'T FUCK YAHOO, THANK YAHOO! YOU'RE ALL STUPID!
Me: Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol IS FREE!
you know shit's getting serious when mainstream... →
dionthesocialist: Sometimes, I wish I could ban my students from saying the word “gay” unless we’re specifically talking about homosexual people. Today one kid said that the ceiling was gay. Ceiling can’t be gay. Ceiling can’t even be straight. Ceiling is ceiling. Ceiling’s sexual preference is light bulb.
richwhitelesbian: we need some new and more powerful swears
arpakasso: bondoge: swag youre it no snapbacks
ostracizedpoodle: *gets down on one knee* will you go away
Reblog if you think the next disney prince should...
theew0rldisours: 5angelicbabies: itallseemsimpossible: cookieisafangirl: sleepingwithsharma: 4 million and counting 5 million This should get to 10 million, come on people. Always reblog when it comes up on my dash. 12 million! Disney can’t say no! or the next princess is lesbian. ^^ this one you know, Disny should have an official tumblr. So they would see the 14...
I want in fact more of you. In my mind I am dressing you with light; I am...– Kafka, Franz (1883-1924)
equisollux: zombiecthulu: basedkuroko: my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone I bet he’s on Tumblr I am
coolruby64: *sticks my hand in your chip bag* can i have one