May 2013
Me: *sees book store* *looks to friend* *shuffles towards bookstore*
Friend: no.
May 22nd
41,225 notes
May 22nd
130,960 notes
May 22nd
130,960 notes
May 22nd
29,368 notes
tom-sits-like-a-whore: whenever weird shit happens to me i don’t even question it i just walk away because i will not be one of those people in the first 30 seconds of Supernatural no sir no ma’am
May 22nd
16,123 notes
untamed-happiness: I don’t want anyone to ever touch me ever again 
May 22nd
2 notes
timegrowsbolder: I just want you to come home.
May 21st
6 notes
5 tags
Gahh!! So this guy likes me but I like his best...
May 20th
3 notes
luckycharmsprincess: Does anyone else realize how deeply our choices affect us? I mean, think about it. You make one choice, but where does the other choice go? Does it go into another, parallel universe? What happens to it???
May 20th
19 notes
matttimpgod: Do you think the phrase, “aye, aye Cap’n” was a way pirates made fun of their captain because he wore an eyepatch?
May 20th
25 notes
myerectiongoesinonedirection: can birds pee?
May 20th
10 notes
thecouscousqueenspersonalbutler: If you fuck your clone, is it sex, incest, or masturbation?
May 20th
248 notes
pinkypromise-yourlove: To my guy friend who just tried to get it on with me. Thanks for making me feel relatively attractive. That was nice of you. Really. Now never do it again.
May 20th
4 notes
seriouslovefor-ukwon: What if when brown/black people breast fed their children, chocolate milk came out.
May 20th
4 notes
weremade0fstarlight: what if our nose can share it’s thoughts? “you’re fragrant” “stop poking me”
May 20th
7 notes
And this only applies to woman?
puravelutaurum: What if your nipples were constantly moving all over your body like little bugs and the only way to make them stop is by getting pregnant.  AND YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHERE THEY STOP.  Foot nipples.  
May 20th
12 notes
puhoyedthoughts: the pancreas is like the craziest organ of our body I mean it self-destructs when we die like it’s shouting to the doctors “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!!!”
May 20th
106 notes
tavernwenchmaverick: Do you ever blink and just hear your eyelid click? Like a fucking door. Get some WD40 on that or something.
May 20th
9 notes
May 20th
206,451 notes
May 20th
47,517 notes
sam-winchester-is-unamoosed: sherlockedbyphaninthetardis: davedirk: davedirk: lauraforgood: m33wlin: WE WERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN GYM AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS LIKE “I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY” AND ME AT THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST BOTH GO “SAME” AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I WINKED AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND THIS IS WHY I DONT...
May 20th
143,953 notes
ambassador-of-anguish: shouldertappingghosts: If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate...
May 20th
105,041 notes
May 20th
14 notes
Yahoo if you fuck Tumblr up, I will hunt you down and make you suffer.
May 20th
12 notes
Half of Tumblr: FUCK YOU YAHOO, YOU SUCK, YOU CAN'T HAVE OUR SITE!
The other half of Tumblr: NO, FUCK YOU! DON'T FUCK YAHOO, THANK YAHOO! YOU'RE ALL STUPID!
Me: Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol IS FREE!
May 20th
57 notes
you know shit's getting serious when mainstream... →
May 20th
2 notes
May 20th
39 notes
dionthesocialist: Sometimes, I wish I could ban my students from saying the word “gay” unless we’re specifically talking about homosexual people. Today one kid said that the ceiling was gay. Ceiling can’t be gay. Ceiling can’t even be straight. Ceiling is ceiling. Ceiling’s sexual preference is light bulb.
May 19th
52,537 notes
richwhitelesbian: we need some new and more powerful swears
May 19th
66,261 notes
May 19th
84,727 notes
arpakasso: bondoge: swag youre it no snapbacks
May 19th
81,286 notes
May 19th
84,300 notes
May 19th
182,461 notes
May 19th
116,126 notes
May 19th
13,027 notes
ostracizedpoodle: *gets down on one knee* will you go away 
May 19th
138,860 notes
May 19th
332,666 notes
May 19th
115,350 notes
May 19th
72 notes
May 19th
14,426 notes
Reblog if you think the next disney prince should...
theew0rldisours: 5angelicbabies: itallseemsimpossible: cookieisafangirl: sleepingwithsharma: 4 million and counting 5 million This should get to 10 million, come on people. Always reblog when it comes up on my dash. 12 million! Disney can’t say no! or the next princess is lesbian. ^^ this one you know, Disny should have an official tumblr. So they would see the 14...
May 18th
14,509,487 notes
May 18th
16,417 notes
May 18th
458,255 notes
“I want in fact more of you. In my mind I am dressing you with light; I am...”
– Kafka, Franz (1883-1924)
May 17th
152 notes
May 17th
146,726 notes
May 17th
42,574 notes
May 16th
4,062 notes
equisollux: zombiecthulu: basedkuroko: my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone I bet he’s on Tumblr I am
May 15th
151,803 notes
It's Okay
kennendoah:
May 15th
39,383 notes
coolruby64: *sticks my hand in your chip bag* can i have one
May 15th
104,053 notes